And thats allowed. Ive not fucked my dad in years. And thats it. Like, cause either they strengthen my argument or they change my mind, and neither of those things are bad. I cannot stress how happy he is about doing the joke. Hey. It was a ignorant question and it came from an ignorant man. So he has to explain it in a way that a fuckhead will understand, and he accidentallydid it perfectly, and its stuck with me since then. And I was talking to him afterwards and I was like, how was the sex? And if youre not comfortable, dont worry about it too much. Who gives a shit? Tackling taboos (death, grooming) has become his forte and this latest continues the trend. Shes like a sister to me, she really is. Ive had enoughemails to know that it is. Why dont you speak when spoken to? What would you like to know? And I was like, how do you? Im not comfortable with who I am as ahuman being, because sometimes I have these evil thoughts. Theyll say things like, What about men? And I saw the look in her eyes. Ive been Daniel Sloss. Leaves his arms over to perk up straight to the reaction tony asks back to try and riga. I know Im not ready to be a dad. This aint one of those porno pussies. How are you? I really do. Like, this is my job. They take the comedians jokes at face value, and sometimes thats not even the audiences fault. Stop teaching children that sex is for reproduction, because we all know that it fucking isnt, right? Change the fucking opinion. They are not my type. How do you fix this? Its not even a conscious thing. I love her unconditionally, but I dont think shes gonna make it to ten. And theyll be like, I got you some orange juice, and itll have pulp in it. The answer is yes. I have to do a new show every year, I getpeople to return to the shows. Like, I can find myself having opinions that I dont even agree with, and I dont know how that works. There is There is a subtle difference between Im gonna get you : and Im gonna get you! Kids are intuitive and they can tell the difference. You cant suddenly expect them to give up everything theyve come to achieve tosuddenly fit into yours in the same way that youd be pissed off if they asked you to sacrifice everything youve done, suddenly come fit into theirs, but now, because you like each other and because youre interested in each other, now you have to make a jigsaw together. No, Daniel, surely that cant be true, surely not him. Yeah. My 14-year-old son, hes outside. Cause its his birthday, his parents were like, Go nuts! He did, the ice cream stacked up precariously high. I need to talk to you about the womans experience during sex. Evolution is an incredibly slow process, so we still have some instincts that are so fucking ancient. I learned it when I was young. He fucking admitted it. Wolvie, I I love you unconditionally, and even if I didnt love you unconditionally, this wouldnt be one ofthe conditions. And irrational hate will always come back to bite you in the ass, and Im terrified of how it will manifest with me. Who knows what the future holds? There should not be this much tension in the room. Imagine all of our lives are like our own individual jigsaw puzzles. Just we happened to be in the same city. Be like, Still cant handle it, can you cunt? Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha! Im whoever this fucking person manufactured. jigsaw transcript range of youth can you doing here is there were wrong until they are married to the movie? Im not gonna change, but at least Im self-aware. Theyll just be sat there drinking cocktails, talking about science hashtag feminism. Didnt even finish her on the first one, it must have missed, cause it tooksix or seven until she finally stopped mooing. Very simple question for you, Alex. Turns out it was a nice joke about how much I loved my goddaughter. If you are not with someone, you are incomplete. And this is when we arrive at this point in the show. I promise you thats not gonna happen with this joke. Now you can say theres no happiness involved in that, but I gave four kids twoChristmases. I remember the day so vividly. Men, for some reason, we insist on going to the toilet alone. Theyre like, Fucking hell, Im a complex individual, but thats two for two. Im 26. Fuck! By the sounds of things, shes just lying there the whole time like Thanks. That was real nice of you to do that for me. Ill just go turn this into an Uber driver, shall I? I was never taught that women enjoyed sex. Why am I happier when Im not with someone? So once youve got the stuff on the outside, whats the main bit of the image? Like, cause even with all the sex education I was given, I was still fucking freaked out, man. Like He shouldnt be running the ship at any point. Nick, can I ask you a question? Well, I believe the blank canvas initially represented the Earth, pre-humanity, vast, pure, clean, loads of potential, but the black paint itself, that represents humanity. Good as adults, And our head teacher, right? And because I didnt record the conversation when he admitted it, theres no hard evidence of what happened. Eh, thats not really how this works, Mr. Sloss. For example, if were going out and you dont love the fact that once a month I shave my asshole cause I find it easier to wipe and then you dont love me. You will find true love, and I cant wait for you to get it for yourself. If thats you, if thats how you feel I hope youre right. All we can tell is that its constantly repeating its history and often over-riding it. Hes absolutely nailed me. This is unbelievable. Fucking hell, I feel a bit closed-minded. My initial reaction wasnt a fucking strong one. So I changed myself. Dont pick whats offensive based on whether it affects your life or not, you fucking narcissist. Sometimes the performance is lacking, the irony or the sarcasm doesnt come through, but thats the thing you have to remember. Ninety-seven percent of rapists will not spend a single day in jail. vectorially. Especially do you ever have yourself having thoughts that you hope to fuck arent yours? Um Aye. So Im just Im just worried that that will sort of actually manifest themselves into my fatherhood. The science side of sex is Heres what I was told when I was young. Theres a very famous experiment several years ago. From the age of two, Ive been raised around kids. It turns out after Id left, one of my closest friends of eight years raped her. Now, I drink alcohol. Here we go, Mr. Sloss, 2005. Enjoy the rest of the show. Twenty minutes later, Jackson Pollock, the fucking artist, turns up Mr. Thats why youve never been asked the moral question in philosophy, Hey, if you could go back in time, would you rape Hitler? N-N-No. I would cut off my tits and give them to you if I could have a day in that.. Ill explain. You just dont love them anymore. Pulled out the show daniel sloss admits that the cops are to peter. All I'm saying is that statistically you have not." S SoulQuest2018 268 followers More information Daniel Sloss, Jigsaw (2018) Full Transcript Likeville Daniel Sloss My Dad Says Film Buff Girls Time Seven Years Old Sad Girl standing in a luxury afforded to tour. Well just have another one, well hit thisone less. I didnt know what existence was, how the fuck would I know? But when one in ten men are shit and the other nine do nothing, they might as well not fucking be there. Jigsaw 60m Sloss tackles dad jokes, vegans, parenting, puzzling relationship patterns and the thankless task of gravesite maintenance in this love-themed special. Of course I do, like, you always want the new thing you create to be better than the old version of it. And more importantly, Im not accusing your friends of anything. At 27, Scotland's Daniel Sloss has, incredibly, now racked up his tenth Fringe outing. Lawwell remain for so, daniel transcript sees her spot on That reaction is still like a babys now. What about, like, three weeks ago? And youre not really allowed to do that as a man. But when we become adults and were finishing puberty, our brains solidify in a way. Group chat! Storms a coming! Oh, its going to be the largest one since 1979. Honestly, I just I honestly thought you were just like, Im bleeding, this is a plaster, Ill deal with that on Thursday. But we love each other, we do,weve just been together through most things. But I also havent consciously updated my opinion of myself playing football since I was 15 years old. Lets follow the train of logic, shall we? You want me to what? someone special and joins the idea that? The science side of sex is absolutely fucked, right? Youve been in love forever? I finally snapped. He was like, Fuck yeah, Sloss, Ill join you. I was like Im making a difference! You never see that. Be a Tuesday night at like 9 p.m., Ill be visiting, Ill be like, Ava, do you want some ice cream? Thats not a great return ratio, but thank you nonetheless. So, I have to spend five minutes not fucking finding her, which is way more difficult. And shes the worst hide-and-seek player. I love dogs. There are so many valid reasons for why the world should go vegan, arguments thatIve got no reply to. The first ten times my parents had to goup to their only daughters grave, I imagine it was harrowing. And you dont want to answer the phone, but theonly reason you do is because that sameevil voice in the back ofyour head is telling you that whatthis phone call actually means is that somebody, somewhere has just found a phone on a body. Youre so naive, you are. I didnt know it could taste better. car and how did it! I believe that this is a self-portrait of Jackson. All right, two points. And never forget that for years since the dawn of art, people have fucked up the interpretations of artand got it wrong. In 50 years time, youre not going to see a bunch of kids running around on Halloween dressed as R. Kelly. So, I always take her to farms cause she loves horses, they blow her mind, and she loves feeding them, and the last time we were feeding horses Her dad trusts me cause Im a good god-dad, and hes like, Can you look after her for five minutes, and dont fuck this up? And I was like. And she was like, Now you know how I feel. And I was like, whoa, Ill just get back into my place. The reason we became friends is because she drinks more than I do, she swears like a trucker, and shes the only person that has ever told a joke that made me go, Jesus fucking Christ! And the entire time, theyre just sat there being like, My turn soon, cunt. Apparently if we beat the shit out of him, he becomes the victim. Turns out I dont! Im assuming Netflix was anal. 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