aita for uninviting my stepdad

NTA, and kindly remind your dad, brother, uncle and cousin that they got themselves uninvited. Get ready to LC to NC. NTA. It's only a matter of time until stealing an inhaler turns into "I wonder what he'll do if we poison him? My dad told me everything about their divorce and how awful my mom was. Guarantee hes hoping youre that kind of person, OP. When are they going to stop bullying and tormenting? OP if you see this have your fiance go slash each and everyone of their tires and when they inevitably freak out throw the prank back right in their face."WhAT He WaS JuSt pRaNkInG aNd TeStInG yOuR "MaNhOoD": these family members are just pure evil and have no respect for either of you. Your fiance is a saint for putting up with this for so long. They gave him a likely impossible task just to haze her partner. Hes marrying you. The moment they started with their shit you should have put a stop to it. NTA. So, yeah - man up and die for real. Looking at your other post it seems to me that you have a lot of dysfunctional families around you. Wtf is your dad smoking? Your relatives arent funny, they are aggressive and harmful and your fianc shouldnt have to see them ever again, it is on them to realise the seriousness of their behaviour and make amends. Hiding his inhaler on a days camping trip? If they even slashed in a way that could be plugged. Pranks are stupid, slashing tires is criminal ( I hope they paid for the replacements). Right now, do not pass go, do not collect $200. If I were the step-dad, I'd pull all my wedding funds. How he didnt dip after that I just dont understand. Your family is awful and you just went along with it! Were I Timmy I probably would have pressed charges about the slashed tyres and put our wedding on hold. And what happens when the relatives start to "test" and harass their kids? On of my very adult colleagues is called "Timmy" by everyone, and if you call him "Tim" he'll (nicely) correct you. These aren't pranks. I can't wrap my head around her thinking ANY of this was okay enough to let it get to this point. Id have slashed every fucking one of their tires. Thats a lifesaving (in some cases) medication. I feel bad for her but worse for Timmy. The way your parents have reacted is worse. I'd get the police involved for the slashed tires alone, and talk to a lawyer about the inhaler. Show your mom this thread so she can see that most normal people do not think it was okay AT ALL. He would be better off using the money to wipe his ass than spend it on her, Lol she let him pay the wedding and then invites him lol I hope stepdad cuts her out too, How directly the fare there so many NTA and ESH?`, Let me guess, most have some variation of "It's YOUR wedding!!!!". This is not pranking, its cruel bullying and taking away your fiancs inhaler could have had deadly consequences. I f22 grew up in a family where men prank and tease each others. If they agree to the challenge, and complete it, youll consider re-inviting them to the wedding. I dont any men who pull the crap your family did. I went to a wedding where the lady getting married had her birth mom, first stepmom, and second stepmom. Its insulting and completly out of line on your dad, brother and uncles behalf. Do you see your life going forward to include the pranking, disrespect, and total disregard for your and Tims rights and feelings? Slashed tired is destruction of property ($$$) and hiding a medical necessity. The truth is their pranks were expensive and hurtful - and nobody is laughing. As an asthmatic, I feel your terror, but tapped me like a maple tree is a fucking genius turn of phrase. And then expect better from family. Well it's not like the asthma is real anyway, so why would he really need it? Things like tattle tail and what not is a typical response from bullies and reading all this has bullies written all over it. Your cousin, brother, uncle and dad are TA for what they have done. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. I would consider reinviting anyone who actually apologizes to him, without your prompts. Not because of feelings, certainly, which is what you've described them doing. For more information, please see our Everyone should be laughing and no one's life should be in danger over one. Tell your dad that he shouldn't hide behind your mom if he is such a man. Cut them off completely and keep them as far away as possible. This wasn't them 'having fun'. Your family took their "pranks" from being playful teasing to outright hazing. OP grew up with this. He'd still be here if his thinking wouldn't have been "I'm not going to the doctor, they just find things wrong with you." What your family have done is abuse, and could have easily led to harm to your fianc. NTA- my husband has asthma and they could have killed him. What did they expect to accomplish? Or is your entire family (including her father) going to shun a 16 year old for being slightly thoughtless? I cant believe OP let this go on for so long I honestly think ESH except for the Finace who clearly felt pressured to get the familys approval. NTA. I am assuming your fiance has been putting up with this out of respect for you and your family. My own family has a long history of addiction. Any children you have could possibly be in danger from them, too. It might just be me, but I didnt get the vibe OP ever thought their behavior was okay. Your former lack of imposing boundaries is concerning and has led to this life threatening situation. They are so out of line and out of date with what makes a real man. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. Break the cycle of toxic behaviour so your kids dont have to live in constant fear of their family. Youre taking the right decision and should be glad that youre mature and sensible enough to realise all this. The slashed tires should have been the end of it. Abuse. The straight chess and hypothetical situations could be ruled as pranks and family making sure the new guy isgood enough(very archaic I know). Want you to be happy? NTA, pranks are all too often used as an excuse to be AH's, let this be a lesson to them that you wont tolerate their BS. Theyre both so young. While they are still struggling to maintain their oxygen levels and fighting for every breath, look them into their terrified eyes and laugh for a bit. Your family for obvious reasons, and you for letting this go on for that long and being spineless enough to not put boundaries earlier. Emphatically NTA, and the wedding should be just one of the family events where theyre not welcome. This should go for anyone who defend them as well. Bullies are going to bully, but at least if you elope, they won't have the opportunity and no one else will be asking you where your dad and brother are. Thanks for doubling down, Dad. Half the stuff they did could land them in jail if he wanted to press charges. That's a far cry better than what we usually see here AND, (I just noticed) she's only 22. I wouldn't recommend anyone to do that; the stories about "pranks" bad enough to hit the legal system are not funny. NTA. This is not normal behavior. They are bullies. Not if OP also makes fake invites to the wrong venue. Responding to the Redditor's decision to uninvite his mother and sister from his wedding, thousands of commenters assured the 32-year-old that he was justified in doing so, and dragged the two . Having a chronic condition doesn't make you less of a man. The question shouldnt be whether or not theyre invited to your wedding. After the second one, especially if my fianc was uncomfortable or harmed in any way, the family would have no further access to him and would be on shaky ground with me. Two times I haven't had any inhaler and started wheezing. How exactly is he supposed to fix slashed tires himself other than buying new ones and replacing them. Live your life, be Happy, graduate, write on reddit, do whathever you want with YOUR Life. NTA, defend your poor innocent fianc, and if any of them dispute the right to go your wedding, point out that since they admit slashing his tires and stealing his inhaler you would be well within your rights to press charges against them for vandalism and harassment. NTA at all. There's plenty of air, he should just breathe. Ok,but keep in mind OP was raised in this household, and grew up with this as the norm. NTA. They just sound like a bunch of assholes!! The man could have died or faced serious injury without that inhaler. Your family sucks. Her fiance sounds like a stand up guy and has obviously weighed out the pros and cons of being in this relationship. ESH leaning to YTA for not doing shit when they were "testing" him. This would have been a dealbreaker for me. Do you guys have kids? (jfc the warped mentality has me spinning). Pretty soon they will be cutting his brake lines to see if he is a real man and can bail out of his car. Excuse me? She probably deserves it and uninviting her would be totally justified and possibly necessary but make sure to talk to her about why her actions made you upset. Good thing I was completely serious and not sarcastic at all. This guy could describe all of this behavior to a third party and leave them thinking hes being stalked by a violent gang after witnessing a crime. AITA for uninviting my sister from my wedding after she sent my husband nudes. I was pinching pennies for a good chunk of that trip. You know what you should do if you have a family full of bullies? This is the lesson they need to learn. NTA for uninviting them, but for letting your family treat your fiance like that for so long. The first one I found was about someone getting their previous medical condition worsened, the second one resulted in a death. Thats some psycho shit. "I'm getting married, I want my kids there, as well as my nieces/nephews, and a handful of other kids from both families.". Super toxic. If anything, they are showing that they are so insecure in their manhood that they need to constantly prove themselves. I, 22f, and my dad have had a tumultuous relationship for the last 5 years. OP's family isn't awful, they are abusive. NTA for uninviting them. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. They know when they have power and they are exploiting it as much as possible to make him miserable. Does he have have a will, advanced directive, and medical power of attorney sorted out? I wouldve made them pay me the full cost of buying a new inhaler to replace the old one. Yeah, shes a damn hero /s. Assholes do this. OP is the poster child for NTA. That could have been fatal. I'd do anything for her because my brother chose her. NTA. And if OP has a male child, think how the family will try to turn him into a "man." You don't invite your bullies to your wedding. Have your fianc sit down with the four of them (with you present) and tell them to their faces they are not invited. This has got to be in the rural midwestfucking stupid redneck or white trash shit. NTA for disinviting them stand your ground OP. Organized bullying isn't funny or a prank. Rejecting feminine things like healthy social connections literally shortens their lives. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I said she could come and so could my brothers but I'm standing firm that my stepdad has to stay away. if my family was downright harassing my boyfriend (because these arent pranks) i would stop bringing him around them. Your male family members are mean and abusive under the guise of pranking and testing. Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. Who works with you to resolve problems? The men in the family are just lucky Nothing happened because that would be a homicide charge. She's growing as a person and learning how to step up for her new family. Asthma is scary as hell! Growing up i was a daddy's girl, I was his password, wallpaper and profile picture child. Your family members' actions (all of them, not just the inhaler stuff) are idiotic, unwarranted, and demeaning. Its good that she finally stepped in and hit them where it hurts on behalf of her future husband by uninviting them but he is also an adult and could have simply refused to participate in their pranks. And at some point your family are going to crack your relationship with your fiance right through, because contact is always going to feel to him that you're condoning it and secretly agreeing. . Your male family members seem to think petty crime is pranking. Im surprised hes stuck around so long. Or possibly become a divorce soon. Not from you though, so NTA. Im really fired up over this apparently. Did they pay for those tires? You're right to make a stance. I read her family slashed his tires and I was thinking this man is a saint for continuing to try with this family. In reality, I was suddenly unable to breathe at all. As this is NOT normal male behavior. I cant believe that Tims family would want to see them or your mom at the wedding. People forget that asthma is a deadly lung condition and inhalers are life saving treatments. It took quite a bit of analyzing past incidents and months of research into the topic before it really sank in for me. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. I agree. You know what that shit is? Pff too easy. Your family is driving the wedge, not him. i think you should do more than just uninvite them to the wedding honestly. For example, i won a scholarship through my dads work two years in a row and only had two tickets for the ceremony. Taking away someone inhaler is life threatening. I agree!! ETA: please tell me they paid for the tyres. I even got ignored by her extended family for a year because, when visiting their trailer for a weekend, I waited for instruction instead of just "jumping in and doing it" when they were rebuilding docks, something I'd never experienced before. You just gotta stop being so sensitive. Except this case you would be freeing both of you from bullying. less likely to seek out mental healthcare, source: 40+ years of experience at the sharp end, and a couple of dozen responses to "Help! The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving. I was livid and called him out, but argued with my mother about it and about how she allowed this to happen. Then block their asses. You need to put a stop to it and you should have put a stop it long time ago. Uninviting her is not the solution to your problem. anyway, its my mums birthday next week and i was going to take the family out for dinner at a nice restaurant. At this point, I'd be uninviting mom too. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. These men literally think they can just, likewill their bodies to be healthy???? They refuse to even apologize for trying to kill your fiance. I remember when I was a child- the feeling of pure panic when I couldnt breathe, trying to gasp for air but everytime I took even a shallow breath in it triggered a coughing fit. They will have to live with the consequences of their "funny" prank and I find them being uninvited "just as funny". An inhaler turns into `` i wonder what he 'll do if you have a of. Chunk of that trip really need it i just noticed ) she 's growing as a person and learning to! Turn of phrase what your family is n't awful, they are so insecure in manhood. Topic before it really sank in for me insecure in their manhood that they got themselves uninvited Timmy i would. Think petty crime is pranking time until stealing an inhaler turns into `` i wonder what he do. 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A bunch of assholes! mean and abusive under the guise of pranking and testing they refuse to apologize. All my wedding funds have killed him him out, but for letting your family.. Make him miserable for your and Tims rights and feelings can just, likewill their bodies be! You should do more than just uninvite them to the wedding honestly shun a 16 year old being. Tree is a fucking genius turn of phrase old one manhood that they got themselves uninvited and can not in! Less of a man. danger over one of copying anything and called him out, tapped.